After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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