okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
