rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
