OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Tell her she can't have a vagina
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
