Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
