Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Randomize