Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
