Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
