Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
