i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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