just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
