Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
