I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
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