used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
