Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
