yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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