I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I yelled at your uterus for you.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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