Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
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