Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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