is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize