They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
