I heard we made out
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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