And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Randomize
