I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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