can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
