No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
