u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize