So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
