Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
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just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
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I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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