Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
