If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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