I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i just google imaged poop.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
