Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
cat food counts as protein by the way
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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