she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
