when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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