If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
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The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
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Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
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