The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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