I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
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