And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
