Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
The uberlube is also flammable
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
