Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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