wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
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