so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
