If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Randomize
