That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
