I wannas sexs uuuuu
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
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