Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
