Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
