i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Just took my morning after pill in the library
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
she pinky promised me she was 18
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Randomize
