OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Randomize
