id be glad to
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
