dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize