sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
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