Pappa wants mamma naked
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Randomize
