try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
You need a sexual gate keeper
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
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