Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Randomize
