I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
