How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Randomize
