there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
