i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
